OPINION: Rotisserie Elephant

It seems like the governments of our world are hoping to right a lot of wrongs before the second decade of the 21st century is out. The International Crimes Court has opened investigations into humanitarian violations being committed within the faux-borders that “protect” Palestine, and that came only a week after the U.N. General Assembly decided to give the Rohingya their day in court as well. John Bulton is now out of a job and hanging low from the public eye after finding the one hand grenade on Earth that actually seems to scare him. So, it’s looking like the president finally has a shot at closing shop on one of the many “endless wars” in Afghanistan.

But, it also goes without saying that the past month alone has been a doozy of day-breaking headlines and damning reports on the guilt-ridden elite. There have been just too many stories to invest one’s detailed-attention into, especially during the holiday season. It’s hard to crack a smile when both Hammas and North Korea has promised to deliver the U.S. their own “Christmas gifts”.

But if there is one thing to smile about … or at least, chuckle in awe … it’s the fact that 2019 will more than likely mark the beginning of the end for the GOP.

You see, after Woodward and Bernstein fractured the GOP’s femur with their front page firestorm, the Nixon-era became an albeit temporary poster child of a broken party. When the inquiry began, not one Republican was willing to vote “yay” … but that sentiment began to change once Rosemary Woods admitted to an 18 and-a-half minute lapse in her flexibility. And after John Dean took the stand, Howard Baker knew exactly where he stood; that is, on the same ground as the proud but betrayed Tennessee Republican caucus. In other words, Watergate became the biggest moment since Andrew Jackson’s day of infamy to set a precedent for party loyalty: the family is always here for you until you make it look bad.

But then, the 80s hit and along came Ronny. With him came that great wave of shiny, young conservatives doing the ole’ sheep’s-clothing trick by calling themselves “Social Progressives with Fiscally Conservative Values”. This of course, is just another way to put lipstick on a pig and fool the masses into thinking “trickled-down economics” isn’t a conspicuously agenda-laden economic theory. It didn’t work then and isn’t working now … and with Americans now looking back on this in lament, it seems to have been hurtful to the GOP but certainly not damning.

But, the Reagan Administration shot themselves in the foot with the Iran-Contra affair, which pushed the already wobbling envelope even further to the edge. And this is what ultimately formed a newer and finally honest party … the new-age Republican party.

Nowadays, they’ve stopped trying to convince us all they are on the right side of history. Their hatred for gays, blacks and immigrants … equality as a whole … is palpable, that is unless a gay caucus has the minimum funds and dry hands to play ball with. But worse yet, they began to go balls to the wall on the belief that due process can be tweaked and altered, so long as the issue in question is one that can be interpreted differently along party lines. And make no mistake, in a nation as tribalistic as America, with its hyper-partisan environment, every issue is a threat to the party.

The wildfire that now engulfs the White House is a perfect example of this. More importantly though, it is proof-positive that the GOP has failed to uphold its one vital responsibility; that is, catering to the wants and needs of its constituents regardless of the backlash to their incumbency. A recent Gallup poll found that a majority of American citizens believe that Donald Trump should be removed from his office as president, but the Republican-majority Senate still isn’t convinced.

This impeachment of a long-time-coming has always been seen as a “witchhunt” through the jaded eyes of the Republican party. It’s been stuck in gridlock since Robert Mueller ironically became the most trusted man in America with his hollow but still powerful report, and the GOP will sooner hug an anchor baby than they’ll vote “yay”. It doesn’t matter what the people who put them in-office believe … it’s clear that no amount of ruinous evidence against the president will make the Senate budge. No amount of smoking guns hidden under the pinstripe suits of Democrats will deter Mitch McConnell from firing back with his 9mm loaded with partisan hackery while he’s on the deus in January.

But what happens when the leader of the free world is exonerated for the crimes he and his clandestined gang of skunk-work hatchet men almost certainly committed? Who survives when those delegated to interpret and uphold the laws meant to antagonize these very crimes fail to do so for personal reasons? This is America, after all … birthplace of the patriot and home to the highest degree of atavistic tendencies. This is a betrayal that will more than likely not sit well in most red states. The wind and waves are building and the boat is rocking … the crew is filling those holes with anything within arm’s reach and the captain is hiding in his cabin like a rat in a rainstorm.

God bless Mr. Trump … one man has inadvertently put the GOP through a rock polisher of which it cannot escape. Come January, the Senate’s hands most likely will be tied into a dangerous, operatic love triangle comprised of their darling elitist doofus and the voters. They’ll be torn to choose either convicting the president or giving up their nameplates in the north wing of the Capitol building.

It’s impossible to make calls as to what the fallout of this bonanza will look like, but one thing remains clear to me: it’s time for the Democrats to release the Kraken. If they truly want to chase Trump out of Washington like Frankenstein’s Monster, they need to think like the enemy. Pelosi should be scanning through every line of text in the Art of the Deal with a 30x magnifying glass, because the only thing that remains consistent with Trump is where he gets his game-plans from.

They need to rile up the Republican voters who feel disenfranchised by Trump, like he did in 2016 to those feeling disenfranchised by NAFTA and corporate-sellout Democrats. Then, and only then will the Donald be stuck in the one corner of the White House that doesn’t have an escape tunnel. The scale will tip, topple and disintegrate right through the fingers of the GOP before they even have time to regroup … but only if the Democrats fight fire with fire.

Talentless hack who writes about right-wing extremism in American politics and culture | NYC | VCU alum